angiepants [one pocket at a time]

A few fears

• SKIN PROBLEMS: 3 new raised red blister-ish like dots I woke up to find over the last week (1 arm, 1 back, 1 leg) + a mole on my chest (I may have already had but I just started freaking out about because of the ABCDEs)
• Low Blood Pressure (I currently read about 91/68 with a HR of 56)
• Never beng able to hold a relationship because I’m too stressed, busy and scared of one.
• Having ‘so much going for me’ and being hit with some crazy skin, blood or other condition.  Its a rare circumstance and I don’t want it to happen but it honestly is a thoguht that constantly lurks in the back of my mind.  It explodes with every little medical thing I have to take care of.

On my upcoming updates

I’m calling one Doc tomorrow about the results of a recent failed ‘trial test’ I did and advice on what to do next.

I’m also visiting my Primary Doc late March for an annual physical (needed for my next clinical rotation) and only have about, oh, only a million questoins to bring to the table.  AKA: Stomach problems, Raynauds, miscellaneous skin and circulatory things, hormones and immune system functions? 

Oh boy, I will force them to sit down with me. I would like to know the ‘answers’, but I’m really just afraid of not knowing if something is slowly creeping up on my health and I miss it.

Sunday Surpise

Finding a full Car bumper in your stairwell.

Oh, Residents.

Downloading Harry Potter 4 on Audiobooks

because I’m really not a fan of people right now.

AKA: My ‘friends’ are not reliable on plans and now I feel like a continued anti-socialite.

Normal College Students: Up in very late hours of the night.

Abnormal Angela Student: Up in very early hours of the morning.

My Thoughts on this different sleep schedule:

• My brain simply works better and I’m more productive the first half of the day.
• Early to bed, early to rise
• This is good routine for Graduate school 8am courses
• The average hospital has therapists arrive to work around 7:30am, more of a good routine

Things to (with difficulty) get used to in a smaller room:

• No full fridge but a mini fridge.  Now that I don’t have a meal plan, I need that space for meals made by myself even more!
• No kitchen cabinets.  Currently, one drawer is all my baking sprinkles, pans, etc.  The drawer below is chips, popcorn, etc.  The spices, silverware, plates all go where ‘clothes would hang’.  Did I hint that not even close to my baking supplies fit?  Boo.
• A sink.  The closest one is 2 hallways away.  Where do I quickly toss coffee grounds, refill Brita filters, or clean dishes I constantly use?  (Its easy to take a sink IN your room for granted)

Random Thought of the Day

Where does all the extra gum that once covered wisdom teeth go afterwards?  Does it just retract back?  Or what?

On something I shouldn’t have to apologize for: Ranting rather than having guts to say so in person

• Do you want to meet with me about a serious suitemate conflict that ‘keeps you anxious and nervous every night’ and might have to ‘bring your parents into it’ or NOT?
• STOP pushing the time back
• Don’t write me really formal, detailed letters of complaint when you don’t have the decency to talk more than 2 words to me in person.
• NO. I really don’t want to meet and discuss your problems on MY 21^st birthday.  Even though it’s a Monday, let me have MY DAY.

On Scheduling, calling, emailing, and getting nowhere

Sometimes I wonder what the POINT is.  If you have an email address, answer those emails.  If you have a phone number, return a call, especially if a voice message was left.  If I give you availability dates and times, respect them, don’t overbook me.

Yes, I do a lot for people.  I offer myself constantly, I organize constantly, I put my out there constantly.  DON’T SCREW ME OVER.

I didn’t ‘plan’ to be so stressed in the past 30 minutes or so.  I was actually cheerful and being productive.  Now hello Regina Spektor, gorging on more ice cream that now leaves me hurting, and going mad with post it notes and pen.