angiepants [one pocket at a time]

On things I will miss of RA-dom

• Residents who meaningful reach out to me for help and advice
• Residents who invite me to their own floor events, dinners and club events
• Having my name known by people I have no idea who THEY are (both a blessing and a curse)
• Full freedom over floor/hall decorations
• The abilitiy to knock on doors for random hellos and catch-ups
• An older sister care and concern instinct on high level
• Baking really high quantity (and for free) for college students who will always think you’re Betty Crocker God.

Now that I’ve packed stuff for the last two hours

back to Nueroscience?  Ugh.

Organizing breaks are wonderful.  Especially when your packing means you will will soon be able to decorate a new place (yes, put some holes in a wall without getting chared) and live for yourself (and not be an ‘authority figure’, housekeeper, and role model for 40 residents + staff that lives 24/7 with you).

I’m ready for a break.  28 days till stressful spring quarter ends and 29 days till I move into my first apartment.

On why I yelled and cried today

• We had an extra class meeting added to our schedule to discuss our Clinical Education II and II (10 weeks each).  We have to say where we’d like to live, what practice we’d like, and what learning environment we’d like.  Then our advisors decide for us.  Holy Crap.
• There are multiple group projects to start/work on/finish
• I have to figure out details and deadlines for commencement this June
• Everyone keeps asking about apartment searching.  I can’t look this week but am still stressing.
• Started E-Stim today (yes fun, LOTS of frustrating terminology and concepts)
• Got called 1 hour ago about covering someone’s desk shift tonight because they need to “go out to dinner”.  Didn’t they know they picked this duty night?  I’m STUDYING my ass off, not going out to eat.  What do you think is more important?
• Found out a resident hall had sprinkle systems go off.  Flooding of their rooms displaced 90 residents, 7 who are now on my floors and 1 in my suite.  How long they’ll be here?  No idea.
• My suitemate is so anti-social and her huge, constant messes (that appear immediately after I clean) got to me with all this stress today.  She needs it cleaned for the displaced resident coming in 1 hour.  I am not fulfilling my supervisor’s wishes of “reach out to these new residents and make sure they feel welcomed.”  No, it’s Midterms.  STUDENT FIRST.

Things that made me smile today

• After a long discussion, my mom saying “You’re going to miss being an RA.  As much work as it is, you’re good at it”
• Declining the CandyShop Apartment I really loved.  It was a month too early that I had to be realistic about not being able to pay rent for. But, I had a really nice “I decline but honestly loved the place/roommates” conversation with the guy.
• Sippin’ on Muddled Lemonade :)

Things I just need to write down, move on, but still keep my eye on

Residents.  At 6pm today I was doing homework (with difficulty staying awake) when a close resident calls and bangs on my door to get me to help a girl on their floor.  They didn’t know her and she was unconscious and throwing up. 

In the end, two were transported to the Hospital for Alcohol Intoxication.  I had a ‘Pow Wow’ meeting with the 5 residents whose helped the Police that THEY called.  I wanted to make sure they were OKAY after seeing all that. One even helped the EMS clean and carry the girl out down the elevator and onto the stretcher.

I’m just so proud of them.  I think they’re afraid of some of their friends getting in”trouble”but my concern is, and always has been, for their safety.  I don’t enjoy  having to document things because I’m contracted to do so.  I hope they really understood that when we talked.

During the chaotic rush, I got a “oh and hey“ that another resident is taking a leave of absence because of suicidal thoughts.  He wasn’t in the building, but was in communication with his mom about it and taking the steps towards getting help.  I don’t need to full out worry, but Iworry.

Oh, and did I tell you I wasn’t on call or on duty?

I don’t remember feeling this tired & drained in a really long time.

Things I on my birthday

• Homework
• Calling and visiting apartments all around Philly
• Getting nervous and trying to find out about a resident addiced to Sleeping Pills
• Happy Hour, maybe a Happy Hour.  At this point, more likely no.

Maybe I’m just going nuts.  That would be a nice, simple answer to it all, wouldn’t it?

I forced myself to study outside today (lasted 20 minutes) and winded up thinking about 1. Missing walking my dogs in the suburbs, 2. Calling my cousin for a catch up call, 3. The 5 finals and 3 praticals I have this week, 4. The floor meeting I’m having at 9:30 tonight because somebody stole money, 5. How everybody else around me gets to sit on the lawn and relax, 6. Wanting to go Sunday Shopping, 7. Wanting to just keep fitting in my clothes from last year

All of this happened while I stared at a cherry blossom tree across the street.

I’m sick of nestling with note cards, scheduling a schedule, and hanging out with homework rather than just enjoying company of real life friends and the environment around me.  This is where I blow out a big breath and sigh.